The last few posts have been centred around my personal experience going to Royal Holloway University, but I'm also aware of the concerns that parents have about their child leaving the nest. So in today's post, I've asked my mum some questions about her take on the university process.
How did you find going to open days?
"Open Days are a great way to assess whether the university is right for your child, you have to take into consideration the campus and accommodation facilities as well as the course itself. When I went around the uni's with Katie I found a few of them daunting particularly when viewing Bournemouth. I felt like this was too far away from home and the day itself was very disorganised leaving me with a gut feeling that it wasn't right for Katie. They are a great opportunity to inform your child's decision."
How did you cope with the stress of the application process?
"The application process itself was relatively straightforward, as a family, we were lucky in the sense that Katie was set on where she wanted to go and what she wanted to study so we didn't face the stress that I know other families do. I made sure that I was supportive of Katie's choices but I have to admit I did try and get her to apply to ones that were close to home."
How do you support your child if things don't necessarily go as planned?"Throughout the process, it was always important for Katie to understand all her options, which is why she applied to a private institution not affiliated with UCAS. Results day can be especially difficult if thing's don't go to plan which is something we went through with Katie. After working so hard for months only to face mistakes made by her sixth form costing her, her place on her dream course. Obviously, as you can tell from her posts now, she is more than happy on her current course and managed to still attend her first choice uni, but at the time it was difficult for her mentally, to understand that there's always an alternative and everything happens for a reason. It was at this time I felt I could reassure her that if for any reason she didn't like the university she could quite easily come home."
Was move-in day as hard as you expected?
"For me personally, it was worse than I'd expected, for the last two years I had built it up, the day that Katie was leaving home. It was a realisation that the next stage of Katie's life was here and there wasn't anything I could do to turn back time and have her at home for a little longer. It was the start of a new lifestyle for myself, I was so used to having her at home every day, as with any parent and child. So, it meant I was changing my daily routine to fit around an empty home."
Does it get easier with your child being away from
home?
"In some ways yes... because during the week I'm at work so I'm keeping myself busy and it's times where I wouldn't be with Katie anyway. But, weekends are a struggle, despite going to see her every two weeks weekends still aren't the same. The hardest part like I've already mentioned is coming home to an empty house after work before my husband get's home from work. We do facetime regularly though so we're always chatting still."
Does the concept of debt and future job prospects worry you?"Yes, I'd be lying if I said the thought of debt doesn't scare me, it's not something that worries Katie though. My biggest financial concern is whether the course is worth the money that students pay. If you take this year, Katie has faced eight weeks worth of strike action from her lecturers and now suspended contact hours because of the coronavirus pandemic. All of which students are still paying for across the country. In terms of employment, Katie is a determined individual and is driven to achieve great things, she has the motivation to find her dream job so that doesn't worry me. But I can understand that with other families as it does largely depend on your child. It's always great to get as much work experience as possible whilst at university!"
Do you have any other parental concerns?
"This is a difficult question because I can only speak on behalf of the experience I've had with my daughter. The main thing would be safety on nights out, during Katie's freshers week I was only getting to sleep around the time I knew she'd be arriving home, this has improved slightly as the year's gone on because she doesn't go at as much as she used to because of work commitments. Secondly would be Katie's eating, making sure she's cooking properly for herself and eating regularly. For anyone that know's Katie, you'll know she's an incredibly fussy eater so this was a major concern for me as her Mum. Lastly, I would say on a more personal level, how I would cope with her being away from home, it does get easier as the time goes on as you adjust your daily routine but it's still hard. "
Huge thank you to my Mum for letting me ask her all these questions and being featured in this blog post. If you have any other parental questions please let me know and I can get Mum's opinion on them! 💗
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